LIFE: Under Construction

This past year has definitely been a roller coaster ride of emotion as I move towards my goal of being called Doctor. I finally feel as if I’m starting to come into my own and beginning to realize the person I am meant to be. This past year I’ve liked and lost, and I’ve struggled and succeeded. But most of all I’ve come closer to God. I have to admit, I’ve gone to church this past year more than I can remember since I was young, and I am all the better for it. As I continue to follow God’s path for me, I can truly appreciate all He’s done for me and can only be in awe about what He has in store for me. I may not know exactly what I want to do with my life, but I do know that with God nothing is impossible. All I gotta do is continue to be patient (a virtue I struggle with daily) and let him show me the way.

As I look forward, I know that 2013 will bring me closer to changing my name!!! (By that I mean to include MD, any other changes are gonna take a few years 😜)

So in 2011, quite a bit happened and a lot changed over the course of the year for me. In my previous blog description, 4 things were supposed to happen this year:

1.    The year that things I thought would never end, do.

Well that definitely happened. But I am all the better for it. I know now what I want out of a relationship and how to recognize it when I see it. Now I just have to keep my mind, eyes and heart open.

2.    The year that the unexpected, happens.

Not too many unexpected things happened this year; however I did do some things I never thought I would do, some that I wish I hadn’t. But mistakes happen and so does life, only difference is mistakes end and life goes on.

3.    The year my dreams become reality.

If anything, this statement rings truer than the others. Just finished my first semester of medical school. It’s what I’ve been working towards for YEARS, and now that I have it, it all seems surreal. But that feeling I get after talking to a patient, when it feels like I’ve been a positive impact on their lives, even in perhaps what may be a low moment for them, like I’ve in some way made their day better, makes it ALL WORTH IT.

4.    The year I find: me.

I’ve made progress but I can’t say that I have found myself, like the blog says life, under construction. Still got a lot of building to do, but I’m on my way, and I like where I’m headed.

In 2012, I foresee some really exciting developments, stay tuned!!!

This part of my life, I like to call “Late Nights, Early Mornings”. In less than 24 hours I will be a medical student. The past 8 years of my life, this has been what I’ve been working towards, to be here, and I couldn’t be more nervous/excited/scared/ecstatic that tomorrow begins that journey. Now that I’m here, I’ve got a lot to look forward to. Late nights studying the day’s material and preparing for the next day. Early mornings of learning what is going to help me become a better physician. Those key moments of clinical exposure that remind me why I’m doing this in the first place. No more of me saying I want to be a doctor when I grow up. Now I need to shift gears because I can now say that I AM going to be a doctor, and my trek on this long road to success starts tomorrow.

One year ago on a stormy night in April

I crossed those burning sands.

Outside it was dark and menacing,

but inside our hearts were racing.

We knew what was coming, we had waited for this day,

After all of the blood, sweat and tears,

not even this storm could steer us away.

My sisters and I, waited, anticipated

knowing our lives were about to change

because after we crossed over

things would never be the same

We are Delta women, now and forever

staring down the eye of the storm

never wavering, with exquisite form

giving Samford back the vision of the 22,

working harder than any Greeks on the yard do,

always excelling in service and books,

while maintaining our stunning looks,

We are Delta women, now and forever.

Just got some inspiration so decided to return to my original therapeutic outlet: poetry

I wish for my daydreams of romance to come true,

for once the things I dream would never happen, actually do

I wish for you

You, the one who holds me when I cry

The one who can’t stop staring in my eyes

The one who kisses me when I’m mad

The only one I want around when I’m sad

The one I turn to in times of despair

The one I want more than air

I wish for you

I wish to meet you one day and say

That man is the one for which I pray

But alas, my handsome knight, you are just a wish